Ready to turn the page...

I am ready for February to be over.  I had a bad dream last night.  What adds insult to injury is that I was up around 2:30/3:00-did the: do I stay up and have coffee,do stuff?/ had half a cup and decided my body needed rest at 4:15.  I can have some pretty intense, emotion-filled dreams.  This one concerned me crying over the loss of Garrison.  Yesterday's original blog-post really was more of a conversation with God and I ended up pushing the wrong button and losing it--it took me through His word and the joy of his promises and it was balm for the pain of our loss.  So then last evening Garrison's friend showed up at our doorstep.  He was in town, home from college for a quick visit.  He shared with me that his grandmother passed away the beginning of this month.  He was very close to her.  There was no funeral/memorial service.  He mentioned that her body has been cremated.  I asked if he had ever seen what the ashes look like.  He said that he hadn't and I then offered to showed him Garrison's ashes.  It was one of those surreal moments.  When you touch cremains there seems to be a fair amount that remains on your hands.  After all-- it is bone and flesh coming in contact.  So, my dream dealt with being told to stop the grieving process--suck it up--dry those tears.  Those words are like a death sentence to a melancholy like me.  My body did rest, but my mind was filled with this troubling dream.  The dream ended with a scene from a place in New Hampshire where another friend of Garrison's has gone and is returning to for help.  Garrison so enjoyed nature and in my dream it was Autumn--his favorite time of year.  When my soul is troubled I like to open our hymnal and dig through it for comfort.  I opened to My Hope Is Built on Nothing Less--it provided spiritual rest for my weary mind.  Thank you, Lord.  March is around the corner--I'm just sayin...